von-nation's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

Ok ok...I am taking this topic from Oprah. A topic about self image, typically the racial kind. Everyone has their hang ups about their body image, and it is mainly relates with their cultural identity. It is crazy how we find something beautiful about another culture, but to that culture, that aspect is 'ugly'.

For example the Asian eyes, so many of my asian friends hate their eyes and the way they slant and look so small. I have also been disgusted at the way my eyes look, so squinty when I smile, a slit, with short lashes and a small double eyelid. Some don't even have a double eyelid crease!!! But I was shocked to learn that people find my eyes beautiful??? HAHAHA, it makes me laugh, cuz I think they are bluffing. Funny how the #1 operation an asian lady would get, and it is considered ok, a rite of passage is the removal of fat from the eyelid to create a crease. The reason for the crease is to make the eyes appear bigger!

Also for asians, having fair skin is a big thing! When I go to Malaysia, they love my fair complexion, but when I am in Australia people ask why am I so white and pale. Like I look unhealthy or sick. I don't like the way some random asian people ask about Sofia, as if there is something wrong with her physically, like a disability - 'Why is your baby so dark?' 'Did you drink coffee whilst you were pregnant?'. It's in a condescending tone. And I hate it!!! There is nothing wrong with my daughter, she has a natural beautiful tan, unlike me! Whereas Australians comment on how cute she is without pinpointing any so called "faults".

Women especially have this tendency...to look at others and then criticise themselves. Even the most beautiful women have complaints about their body. Sometimes these distract them from achieving big things!! And that's sad. I am still not 100% ok with my appearance, but I'm so much better than I was when I was 19. It is a big step for me to start wearing miniskirts and shorts recently. lol! In a way marriage and having a child, has made me grow up mentally...and accept my life and myself as the way it is. And that truely makes me happy!!

I hope to raise my daughter to be a solid person, who knows that she is beautiful being a mixed child. She doesn't have to have boos about her tanned skin, or her asian nose etc. She has big beautiful brown eyes, and they don't have to be blue. She has black, shiny hair that doesn't need to be golden. Being ethnic and mixed doesn't label a person as being 'second grade'. The main thing that matters is the person who she is inside, her identity and her values.

I am with you 100% on this one.

People who are critical about their own image (and others) are so insecure and it really bothers me. Even people who are fairly attractive always have something to complain about...I had to interview the Homecoming queen for journalism (she's very pretty), and she wouldn't let us take a picture because she kept fussing about her hair. It looked perfect as far as I was concerned, but apparently it wasn't good enough for her....which goes back to your point, nobody will ever be happy with themselves.

Anyways, I'm rambling now. I love your last paragraph though....
» The-Muffin-Man on 2008-01-09 02:34:18

very true. nobody is happy with themselves. i was once very unhappy with myself being short and a little plump. but now as i grow older, i feel those insecurities i used to have are so petty.. and not really worth to be obsessed with when i look at world issues like poverty and hunger. my problem is just a speckle of dust in the sea.

i have accepted myself for what i am and i'm now simple. i don't even wear makeup. but because many guys have come after me ... i'm now wondering what do i look like in their eyes. and i only hope they will stop telling me how pretty i am.

so you see being beautiful and ugly has its ups and downs. so why not just live a happy life?!
» renaye on 2008-01-09 08:37:07

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